Congratulations on Staving Off the Wolves!

This isn’t like Richard Nixon and his paranoid rage against the people who wanted to take him down. You’re going to get on a plane in about three weeks and it’s going to crash and you’re going to literally be fending off wolves with your bare hands.

You’ll mostly be using fire to do so, so brush up on fire safety and how to properly manage and care for fires in the wilderness. Also you should probably invest in a small discreet lighter.

There’s no way to keep from getting on the plane, since free-will is an illusion and your reading this will simply make you depressingly helpless to change your own fate so don’t even try. You fly so often, how would you even know, right?

But a few preparations won’t hurt. And who knows, you might even befriend some of the wolves and become a part of their pack. It’ll be like when you joined that gang of 13 year olds when you first went to grad school, but less directionless and violent.

So congratulations on staving off the wolves for those few days. Your wife is going to be really, really happy when she sees you again, assuming you get back in the next year and a half. Otherwise she’ll marry your brother, and shit will be way awkward.