Your eccentric uncle spent most of his life acquiring the rights to various asinine pop songs. Well, not just doing that. He also built a yard supply empire which allowed him the financial leeway to acquire those rights.
But he’s been ailing and you’ve been showing him just how much you care by spending time with him and playing a lot of Connect Four. It’s his favorite game and, of late you two have had some great heartwarming moments. It helps that you’re unemployed and seriously have nothing else to do except work on your “novel” about a sexy nurse who fights crime by having unprotected intercourse.
Your uncle has genuinely enjoyed the chapters you’ve read to him by the way. We just put novel in quotes because we think it would make a better novella here in the office.
Over the last few months the two of you have really bonded. And, unbeknowst to you, he’s going to redraft his will in the days preceding his death and leave you the majority of his music rights. His children will still get most of his material property, but you’ll inherit an overwhelming store of intellectual property rights including, but not limited to, Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam.
What this means is that, thanks to an upcoming movie and the Black Eyed Peas’ reliance on other people’s music, you’re going to have a shit-ton of money.
We suggest doing something nice for yourself, like maybe soft serve ice cream or a half and half from a fairly clean prostitute.
And maybe you could actually sit down and work on that novel for a while? Just a suggestion.
Congratulations on inheriting the rights to Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam, by the way. You had your first handjob to I Wonder If I Take You Home, so that’s kinda cool.
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