Well, none of us thought it would work. But it turns out your son pretending to come out to you actually did scare the hiccoughs right out.
He wouldn’t have resorted to such drastic measures, its just that you’ve been hiccoughing for five years. That’s a long time to be crippled by embarrassing bodily functions. You’ve had your latest cat almost that long. Heck, that’s actually how long your son has known he’s gay.
Oh, he is actually gay, by the way. When he yelled “just kidding” after you went really pale and started making the sign of the cross over yourself he was just trying to cover. He thought you’d flip shit if you really knew and just think it was a brilliant ploy to rid you of your hiccoughs if he acted fast. He played you right, but he felt bad and didn’t want to live a lie. He also really wanted to introduce you to Troy (his boyfriend, who is a delight by the way) without lying about it.
So he’s since reconsidered and asked us to inform you here. Oh, also, congratulations on curing your hiccoughs.
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