Congratulations on Not Giving Your Wife Acid for Once!

Every night you and your wife drop acid together and then hold each other and wait for the terrors to come. Some nights they don’t come and you have wonderful, synesthetic sex, but usually one or both of you is screaming horribly, sometimes while the other is plugging away.

Tonight you and your wife are, in defiance of tradition, going to do things a little differently. As you finish locking away the sharp objects and get your most erotic black light posters on the walls you’ll turn to her, look deeply in her undialated eyes and ask her a question.

“Do you think we can try it without the acid tonight?”

She’ll shrug.

“Why not.”

The two of you will fuck sober and it’ll be aces and way less terrifying. You’ll craft a document, to be framed and hung on your wall, that declares that you will, in the future, only be dropping acid together on the weekends to keep the thrill alive in your marriage and will, henceforth, remain sober most of the week.

Congratulations on Not Giving Your Wife Acid for Once!