Congratulations on Completing Your Taks with Great Enthusiasm!

A lot of people would start what you’re about to do and quit halfway when the full gravity of the situation dawns on them. But not you. Today you’re going to kiss that girl on the mouth, haul her drunkenly into the back seat of your Toyota Camry, slip your hand awkwardly into her pants and start going to town, and you’re not going to stop no matter what.

You won’t stop when you hear hoots from the street. You won’t stop when you spaz out while making out with her, slamming your head into the ceiling of the car painfully. You won’t stop when she says “Yeah daddy” when you enter her with your finger. And you won’t stop when you realize, quite suddenly and profoundly, that you’re finger fucking your cousin in the backseat of your Camry in front of your best friend’s house.

This will be for two reasons, really. First off, you’re kind of in to incest play, and you don’t think it’s that weird to fuck a cousin (you normally make love to women, but as we all know, when it’s a blood relative you can never make love to them, you can only fuck them). Hell, you sort of prefer it, and even when you’re not fucking someone you’re related to you sometimes like to imagine them as a family member, or imagine them talking to you about your extended family, what they’ve been up to, how their health issues have been developing or declining. That sort of thing. You even pay prostitutes to talk like this, when you visit them.

The second, and far more relatable reason, will be that you are a gentleman, and a gentleman does not stop what he’s started, especially when a lady’s orgasm is on the line. So even though you’ll feel a little lukewarm at the prospect of publically showcasing your fetish, you’ll feel that your embarrassment is less important than your cousin’s sexual fulfillment. So even as the hoots turn to scandalized whispers as people slowly realize just what’s going on you’ll continue finger banging away, until your cousin finally spasms against your hand, grinding herself into you, crushing your palm between her crotch and the fabric of jean and car seat underneath her.

Only then will you pull out your hand, delicately wipe it on a towel you keep in the backseat for this purpose and whisper into her ear as she pants against your collarbone.

“I think we should go back inside. People might be wondering where we are.”

Congratulations on Completing Your Task with Great Enthusiasm!