Tonight you’re going to drop some acid in an attempt to liven up your Saturday night and it’s going to be tops. You’re going to have all sorts of crazy hallucinations which will culminate in you leaving your apartment and running down the streets searching for, as you call it, “the magical land of spells and faeries.”
You’ll find it in the pizza freezer at Safeway. It will be a bit of a letdown since they’ve got a serious conservative lean. Birth control bans and a strong tendency to deregulate industry will have lead to widespread poverty, but harsh anti-immigration laws will prevent any of the faeries from entering The World Outside (what they call Safeway).
It’ll be pretty depressing and you’ll actually feel relieved when you get out of there. Then you’ll go home and contemplate suicide, since even the mystical realm you imagined as an escape from your mundane accounting job sucked.
We here at Sexy Results Inc. would like to suggest that you take an active hand in the world around you and try to improve both the worlds you live in. We know you’ll ignore us and go buy coke next weekend, but we had to make our voice heard.
Oh, and congratulations on reaching the land of spells and faeries. A better person would’ve helped them.
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