Congratulations Spectral Politician!

“There is no call to fear what lies ahead,” you’ll croon into the microphone horribly. “For what lies ahead cannot undo our existence. America has become the first nation to look beyond the grave for its leadership, and as such it will be survive all others by redefining survival.”

The crowd will collectively look at one another uncomfortably. One guy in the back will cheer.

“Hail Satan!”

You’ll laugh into the microphone, a horrible sound, like a record scratch moving around the room sporadically, constantly shifting sources.

“Also, I’ll fix the economy and end the war in Afghanistan.”

The crowd will applaud uneasily while the lone shouter throws up the horns from the back row. Thus will begin arguably the most productive presidency in American history, one that will lead to an amendment which specifically details that candidates must be alive in order to be elected to the office of president.

Congratulations Spectral Politician!