Congratulations on Getting Your Denim Jacket Back!

Sometimes you’ve got to just let the world do you wrong. But far, far more often what you really need to do is strike back against the world and say HEY FUCK YOU WORLD! GIVE ME BACK MY JACKET!

And if the world is your cousin Randy, and if you add a summary stabbing on to shouting, this is exactly what’s going to transpire today.

And Cousin Randy, after the third stab, is going to loosen his grip upon your jacket. And you’ll triumphantly drape it over your shoulders and quietly sit back down to enjoy what’s left of the braised chicken at your sister’s wedding.

Once the jacket’s good and on you’re also going to spit on Randy for good measure, just to make sure he knows what’s up. You wouldn’t do that last bit if he wasn’t family.

Congratulations on Getting Your Denim Jacket Back!