Congratulations on Re-Enacting Part of the Movie Ghost!

You love love LOVE the movie Ghost. You’ve put a shitload of time into trying to re-enact parts of it: you’ve tried to foster a relationship with Whoopi Goldberg in the hope that she might one day sleep with you. You’ve done pottery with literally every person you’ve dated just in case you die while dating them so that you’ll have an excuse to share that experience with them posthumously. But it’s never worked out. Not until today. Today’s gonna be your lucky day.

Because today you’re going to be buying some heroin at a construction site filled with broken glass and discarded condoms and you’re going to pick a fight with your dealer.

“What the fuck, man?!” he’ll shout at you, pulling out his gun and turning it sideways as he prepares to shoot you.

“Wait wait wait!” you’ll scream at him, holding up your hands. He’ll look at you like you’re an idiot and cock the gun, then you’ll back up against the shell of a window, where some shards of glass will be hanging above you. You’ll point up, drawing the dealer’s attention to said bits of hanging glass.

“Shoot those out,” you’ll beg him. “It’ll look so much cooler.”

He’ll give you another look of disbelief before shrugging and pointing his gun upwards. He’ll loose two rounds into the top of the window. One of them will crack the glass and liberate a particularly nasty shard of glass, sending it cascading down into your body. It’ll strike you in the neck, which won’t be just like Ghost, but it’ll be close enough to make you happy, if only for a moment.

Unfortunately your happiness will rapidly subside as you lay there, impaled and bleeding out. You’ll begin to wonder how realistic the movie Ghost was when you don’t notice any tiny black specters coming out of the floor to collect your soul. As the world goes dark you’ll wonder if this was the best trajectory for you to follow with the last decade of your life, but the thought won’t last long. Blood loss will strip the thought from your mind, dwindling out all the others until your body even forgets to breathe.

Congratulations on Re-Enacting Part of the Movie Ghost!