Congratulations on Accidentally Blinding Yourself!

Remember when you fucked with the eye wash stations in your lab so that they’d fire gouts of sulfuric acid instead of water into whoever used them? Yeah, we didn’t think you did. Well, today you’re going to wish you had, because following a particularly nasty incident where another prank you were working on (monkey urine in a spray bottle) backfires and ends up spraying gross monkey pee all over your face you’re going to head to one of the aforementioned eye wash stations and try to get the crud out of your face.

You’ll bend down, pull the lever and gouts of acid will spray right into your peepers.

“Agggh!” you’ll scream. “This prank is a lot less funny than I thought it would be!”

You’ll thrash around on the ground for a while as your eyes burn out of your skull, wishing you could cry. But you won’t be able to: your tear ducts will be totally annihilated within seconds. After what seems like an eternity of pain the reaction will stop: the acid will have run its course, and you’ll be left on the ground with a ruined face and a newfound respect for the limitations that need to be in place for workplace pranks to be both funny and appropriate.

This will result in an entire week without any of your retarded pranks ruining shit for your co-workers until you forget all the lessons that your scarred face has taught you and decide to train your seeing-eye dog to attack white people, forgetting (since you’re blind) that you’re white and getting yourself pretty badly mauled along the way.

Congratulations on Accidentally Blinding Yourself!