Congratulations Shake and Bake!

This weekend you and your buddy Ron had quite an adventure. But we don’t need to tell you any more about that. Heck, you were there! Racing against the clock, shooting people in the face, solving mysteries.

It was all very exciting, all the more so for the fact that the two of you normally work as assembly line managers in a sex toy factory. So when you show up for work on Tuesday after collectively having taken Monday off to convalesce and drink beer while watching Newsradio at home, you’re going to feel pretty bummed.

You had a glimpse of a whole new world over the weekend, and what’s more you found that you were pretty well suited to it. Your feelings of detachment and keen eyes were put towards seducing dames and finding clues rather than spotting defective products and distancing yourself from your co-workers for once. And what’s more, you look awesome in a moustache and aviator sunglasses, the latter of which goes strictly against company dress code.

You’ll be sitting in your office, your nose stuffed into a cup of coffee, when Ron shuffles in, looking just as dejected. You’ll see that the gunshot wound he sustained to his right arm has been bandaged now, and that most of his staff have signed the bandage with various fun slogans, not understanding that a bandage is not a cast and that applying pressure to a gunshot wound can oftentimes be quite painful. He’ll plop down across your desk from you and sigh.

“Tim,” he’ll say. “We need to talk.”

You’ll nod. You’ll try not to give it away but excitement will already be building inside you. “What’s up, Ron?”

“Well...” He’ll avoid eye contact with you, getting up and walking towards the window so he can look out at the factory floor. “I had a lot of fun this weekend.”

You’ll let loose a sigh of your own, longing this time. “Me too, bro. Me too.”

Ron will turn around dramatically. “And we got a lot done. And it gave me an idea.”

You’ll brace yourself against your desk and stand, all two-hundred sixty pound of you resting on the leg that wasn’t broken by Chinamen over the weekend. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

Ron will nod gravely, then the two of you will high five and collectively shout.

“Detective agency!”

You’ll sit down together and write out your joint two weeks notice, since Ron can’t really write with his arm as it is. Then you’ll turn it in to your puzzled boss and start looking for office space in the paper.

And so Shake and Bake Detective Agency will be founded by Timothy Baker and Ronald Shakesfield on April 22nd. Congratulations Shake and Bake, and godspeed.