Congratulations Lessie!

We here at Sexy Results Future Agency like to think of ourselves as fairly progressive (who’s goes two thumbs and thinks lesbians are awesome? This guy!) so we tend to veer away from traditional family values and stereotypical Christian sensibilities.

So we’d like to offer you, Karen, a wholehearted congratultions for whats going to happen this Sunday.

You normally work as a police dispatcher. You receive negative feedback round the board, simply by the nature of your job. But you hold on to it because the pay is good and you feel like you’re helping people.

The one brief respite for you comes each weekend, when you hit up a few gay clubs and try to find you a cute chick to bring home and fuck the living shit out of.

It’s an almost universal procedure now for most. You embark on the town for a night of consequence free substance abuse, and perhaps you find yourself a sexual partner. In any other time it would seem madness, but nowadays it is the norm.

But this Sunday, at 3:43 AM, you’re going to meet a woman named Melissa. Melissa is going to find you fascinating on every level. You need to take her back to your apartment and think about nothing other than her gorgeous eyes and incredible hair. Maybe, if you’re lucky, you’ll also be permitted to think about her flawless pubis.

But tonight, don’t think about the future or commitments. About what your parents would think. Just think about Melissa’s bright smile, and the possibility it invites.

And congratulations, lessie. We don’t use that term in a derogatory manner.