It’ll happen in about two weeks and be incredibly painful. Like what you imagine giving birth must feel like for a woman.
He’ll be sentient, and his name will be Paul. I suggest you make a marketing push and try to get your own sitcom on the Disney channel.
He can teach your daughter life lessons and make quips, and you can be the straight man who comes home from work each day with new worries your audience can associate with. We expect it’ll last about four seasons.
Paul is also gifted with supernatural wisdom, being a sentient kidneystone, and he’ll also be able to offer you a lot of sound life advice even if you don’t go with the sitcom idea.
Just don’t put water on him after midnight, or he’ll summon a horde of Twiceborn who will devour your family and wear their skin.
Congratulations on passing the kidney stone!
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