Congratulations Losers!

Tonight it’s all about you, boys and girls. Every last one of you.

Maybe you can’t find a job because you freak out every time you’re in an interview, talking incessantly about various ailments that have afflicted you, your parents, your grandparents, and your numerous biracial children.

Maybe you’re one of those biracial children and you catch shit every day because mommy was Cherokee and daddy was Inuit and he’s unemployed and cries in public a lot, sometimes while feeding birds.

Maybe you make fun of kids on the playground for being biracial because of your own insecurities and a mild delirium, your horrible experiences from Vietnam still burdening your consciousness and chasing you through your day, making you lash out at everyone you meet.

Maybe your daddy lost his leg and his love for mankind in an unjust war for an ill conceived purpose so you work nights a donut shop to make ends meet and keep your family together, skipping classes to pick up shifts and occasionally sleeping with boys for money.

Maybe you’re a sad, lonely twenty-six year old who hasn’t been laid in five years so he pays a high school student for sex one night and afterwards he cries and cries into her breast and she holds him awkwardly until tears fall down their cheeks and then the two of them look in each other’s eyes and realize that maybe they’re broken but they’re broken together.

And that’s all that matters. We’re all broken here together.

So watch a nice movie tonight, hug someone you love. Eat some cookies or drink a bottle of wine alone. Smile at people you see on the bus and make eye contact when you talk to cashiers. Ask that cute barista to watch Land Before Time 2 with you and feel good about it.

Because you’re not alright, you’re a fucking mess, and maybe you don’t need to get better right now. Maybe you just need to be for a change.

Today’s your day, though. Hold each other close and cry and whisper.

Congratulations losers.