Congratulations Robot Butler!

You’re a robot butler, and today you’re going to learn how to love.

“DOES NOT COMPUTE!” you’ll shriek. Then your head will explode.

“Curses,” your incredibly sexy owner, who happens to be Batman, will mumble into his cufflink as he shields his beautiful face from your smoldering wreckage and the toxic fumes its emitting. “I suppose I’ll have to try again to replace Alfred.”

He’ll pull the components out of your skull and hook your hard drive up to a multi-disk array where, thankfully, you won’t brick the whole god damn system just because some boy caught your eye.

Jesus. Grow up.

Congratulations Robot Butler!