Congratulations Problem Horse!

Sometimes people have to work with horses a lot. Sometimes those horses are dicks.

You are one such horse.

“Thith hay ith too thick!” you’ll nasally intone at your co-workers. They’ll all roll their eyes at you. The new guy will jump up in the air.

“Holy shit,” he’ll scream. “Did that horse just talk?”

One of the veteran stablehands will shrug.

“Yeah, but he never says anything important. He’s a fucking prima donna.”

In response you’ll stomp your hoof twice.

“Guyth, thath not very nithe to thay,” you’ll neigh, casting an especially irritated look at the stablehand that hurt your feelings.

“You’re not very nice,” someone in the stables will mutter a little bit too loudly. You’ll throw your head back, whinny, and kick open the door to your stall before tromping out and down the hall to the stable manager’s office. You’ll kick in the door to that as well and then poke your horsey head in.

“I wann mow mawney,” you’ll whine into the office. The manager will his eyes and throw an apple at your head, which you’ll catch in your mouth. It will shut you up and distract you, for only a little while.

“I can’t wait for you to break your leg so I can shoot you,” he’ll mumble under his breath. The apple will be so crisp and juicy, though, you won’t notice. For a handful of minutes there will be nothing but apple in your world.

Congratulations Problem Horse!