Congratulations Bobby the Bullet!

Today you will be born, fictitious cartoon bullet. And through your birth children will learn a valuable lesson. It’ll be just like you’ll sing it in the various commercials and one pornographic movie that features your likeness:

“Sometimes it’s important to shoot your gun, but you shouldn’t shoot it or even point it at a person you don’t intend to seriously harm or kill!”

Kids the world over will realize, through your message, that guns are really dangerous and that they probably shouldn’t play with them until they’re ready to perform the highly sensual act of murdering another living soul, one of the most arousing actions a person is capable of.

Despite this achievement, your television series will be cancelled mid-season by some weird anti-gun advocacy group, like a group of concerned mothers or something. We don’t know who they are for certain, we just know they’re against good All-American fun.

Congratulations Bobby the Bullet!