Thursday, May 21, 2009

Congratulations on Burning Alive!

It’s just another day in your life. You’ll wake up around noon after a night of partying and walk your beat, incinerating a few hikers and blinding one young man who tried to photograph you doing it.

After all, you’re a magma monster living in an inactive cindercone volcano in Northern California, and this is pretty much what you do. You spend every day of every week this way. The only reason today will be special in any way is because you’ll meet a woman today.

You’ll burn her horribly, but she’ll be so pretty on the inside that your heart will just melt for her and you’ll take her back to your lair, where you’ll teach her about being a magma monster, and love.

It’ll be hot (pun intended! A ha ha ha!).

Later on you’ll offer her a choice between a grisly death and life eternal as a fiery monster by your side. We honestly don’t know what she’ll choose, but either way we want to say congratulations on burning alive. It might be commonplace for you now but its still quite impressive to the rest of us.

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