Congratulations on Dealing With Your Disability!

“I’M BLIND!” you’ll shout as you enter the subway car, drawing attention from every random passerby riding the rails with you.

“Okay,” your fellow riders will respond. One of them, an especially sympathetic woman in her late thirties, will lay her hand on yours.

“Sorry hon. How’d you go blind?”

“I STARED AT AN ECLIPSE!” you’ll shout at her. “I WAS TOLD NOT TO AND DID ANYWAY. DAMN MY HUBRIS!”

The woman will drop your hand immediately and strike you about the head and shoulders, not wanting the gods to believe that she is aligned in any way with the sort of hubris you’ve attempted. The rest of the subway car will begin hurling their shoes at you in an effort to show the gods that they too think you’re an asshole, and if it’s cool with the gods they’d all rather not be transformed into rabbits or forced to fuck their sisters or whatever.

After around twenty minutes of this you’ll reach your stop and limp off the train, bleeding profusely.

“WHY MUST I BE CURSED TO CONSTANTLY SHOUT UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTHS ABOUT MY LIFE?!” you’ll shout at the sky, already knowing the answer.

Congratulations on Dealing With Your Disability!