Tonight while eating a big plate of chicken parm your retardo instincts will kick in and you’ll start to choke. You’ll have skipped a step, one you should’ve remembered, and as a result food will be lodged in your esophagus. You’ll find your airway blocked and before you know it your Dukes of Hazard commemorative plate will be knocked to the floor as you tumble down. Your chicken parm will sit there, just out of reach, teasing you with its goodness as the light fades from your eyes. Sputtering you’ll reach out, take hold and cram the sandwich into your mouth. In your last moments you’ll remember that crucial step and properly chew the chicken parm, but when you try to swallow it down your throat will still be clogged. You’ll lose consciousness as your pit bull sits on the floor and watches you, wagging its tail in delight at the thought of eating your chicken parm.
Congratulations on Remembering How to Swallow Food!
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