Congratulations World War II Denialist!

Plenty of people deny the holocaust ever happened, and frankly it’s starting to wear on itself. It’s getting to be sort of old hat at this point. Everybody and their Iranian grandfather has stood on a soap box at some point and accused Jews of killing millions of their own people so they could rise to international supremacy by taking over a very small chunk of land and fucking over everyone who used to live there with horrid human rights violations and egregiously bad, self-serious magicians. Which is why, even though you’re the sort of person we’d applaud to see die in a movie, we’re going to nod with approval today when you revolutionize denial today by announcing, in a public place, that you don’t think World War II ever happened.

Your justification will be weak, which in this case will actually sort of be a value add. The more coherent the explanation, the more asinine the denial attempt (since most things have actually happened and can be denied in certain contexts, usually through willful ignorance). And the fact that you’re offending way more people than a holocaust denier would? Also pretty impressive. I mean, the holocaust effected a lot of people, but it’s tough to find anyone who wasn’t personally affected by World War II in some way, whether they had an elderly relative who died or someone who covered up their vagina to work in a steel mill or whatever.

Today your website will go live, and within a few hours hateful comments and direct death threats aimed at you will flood your poorly constructed forums. By the end of the first day you’ll have over ten million hits, and tomorrow the number will double.

Within a few weeks you’ll be on NBC, CNN, Fox News, ABC and CBS. You’ll give nearly identical interviews at each of these stations, which will consist mostly of you leaning your head slightly to one side, staring at the camera and making a low groaning sound. Then, at the end of the interview you’ll return to normal and depart genially.

The world will be puzzled at your seeming madness, right up until you reveal that you’re absolutely riddled with brain cancer and, as a result, have only a few months to live and sow chaos and disorder among mortals here on earth. Following this revelation your website’s popularity will plummet, because cancer is a huge bummer and no one likes to think about it, especially not as much as they like to think about how historical events might not have happened.

Congratulations World War II Denialist!