Congratulations on Making the Two Finger Salute a Lot Less Cool!

The two finger salute has long stood as one of America’s most irreverent and impassioned sublime critiques of the System and everything it stands for. What better way to showcase your utter disregard for the flag than saluting it not with your whole hand, but with a spare pair of digits, arrayed in the most cursory of forms?

There is no better way, and that’s a fact god damnit! Which is why for so long our teen rebels have begun their revolutions by holding up two fingers and sarcastically pushing them away from their foreheads.

All that was before today. Because today you’re going to decide to do a two finger salute to an American flag hanging in front of a middle school nearby a house you’re delivering an Edible Arrangement to. It’ll happen just outside of a Ford Taurus, while you’re wearing a polo shirt and khaki pants. It’ll be one of the most singularly lame things anyone anywhere has ever witnessed and it will, in one cursory gesture, annihilate any cache that the two finger salute had.

Smooth move, whitey.

Congratulations on Making the Two Finger Salute a Lot Less Cool!