Congratulations on Alienating Your Fanbase!

“I just don’t see what the big deal is,” you’ll announce to the crowd. “The dad from Malcolm in the Middle is bald, I guess that’s something?”

Boos and hisses will cascade at you from the audience. One man will throw his shoe, which you’ll dodge adeptly, ducking below your podium.

“I know the guy from Mister Show is on it now or whatever. Is that why you like it?”

The boos and hisses will intensify, and more shoes will begin to pelt the podium. You’ll occasionally glance out from behind it to discern the intensity and frequency of shoe hurlings directed at you. They’ll be intensifying as you spend more and more time cowering behind the podium. You’ll disconnect the microphone and keep speaking into it, trying to dig yourself out of the massive hole you’ve created.

“I’ve got a lot of other stuff to watch! I’m sorry!”

At this point your fans will rush the stage, overwhelming the security guards who will emerge from the wings to try and protect you. They’ll tear you from your hiding place and bring you upstairs, where one of the crowd members will bind you to a chair while another one plays episodes of Breaking Bad for you on his laptop.

After you finish the first season they’ll untie you and ask you what you think.

“It was pretty good, but I think you guys might’ve blown it out of proportion for me a little. It’s tough to look at it just for its own merits when you’ve all hyped it up so much.

At this point the fans in the hotel room will start breaking apart chairs so they can use the chair legs as clubs to beat you with. They’ll continue beating you until you finally say that you love Breaking Bad, even though you just like it, at best.

Congratulations on Alienating Your Fanbase!