Cold metal will press into the flesh of the vagina, expanding futilely, making her grimace and groan. You’ll look up to try and catch her eyes to see if it’s the good kind of grimace or groan but her eyes will be rolled back as she stares at the ceiling, giving you the impression that she’s just waiting, waiting, waiting for this to end. You’ll do your best to move it around a little, trying to find some pleasant spot, but to no avail.
After almost twenty minutes of these futile, blind exertions her hand will descend to the back of your neck and stroke it, beckoning you to draw back.
“Honey,” she’ll hoarsely whisper. “Could we just use your penis the way we normally do?”
Seven minutes later you’ll be collapsed in each other’s arms. Your wife will be slightly happier, though not super happy and the speculum will be sitting on the end-table, waiting for one of you to remember that it exists so you can throw it away with a tinge of shame in your hearts.
Congratulations on Misusing That Speculum!
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