Today you talented fuckfaces are going to wake up and, without evening meaning to, reduce an entire theater filled with adults to tears in a matter of a few heartbeats using only cartoons. Fucking cartoons. It’ll start with your coffee.
You’ll make your coffee by boiling water in a tea pot and pouring it into a french press. Your french press, you see, doesn’t waste electricity, so it’s a greener way to make coffee. You’ll give the rest of the water to your insufferable wife, who works from home making insufferably adorable children’s book while looking after your no doubt soon to be declared impossibly brilliant spawn.
You’ll kiss them goodbye and then drive to work in your Prius, braving the thirty minute commute from your home without honking your horn once at the other insufferable shitheads who populate this horrid world we live in. Once you get there you’ll smile at your receptionist and trade genuine conversation for a few minutes about last night’s episode of Mad Men before going to your desk and sitting down for a long day of modeling the movements of an adorable robot who will teach us to love by fixing one of the six legs of a space dog that he’ll find while exploring a previously uninhabited moon.
Then you’ll go to lunch at Chili’s, just to make us think you’re one of us mere mortals, fixing us with your shit-eating grin while you wolf down your cobb salad and tip your waitress generously. Then it’s back to your god damn dream factory so you can edify us more and make us realize just how frail we are, both as physical and emotional constructs in this world.
Congratulations Guy at Pixar!
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