We all know the story about how unicorns are just horses who need to get laid bad. Horse pedophiles prevent the formation of unicorns for the most part nowadays (most horses develop their unicorn horn, or unihorn, at the age of six months, and most horses get fucked at around four months) but every once in a great while a unicorn is born.
It’s not common – if it was common we wouldn’t give a shit – but it happens. And it happened to you, and you’re a unicorn and now you’re going to lose your horn.
You’ll lose it after a delightful bottle of red wine that you’ll share with Rupert Murdoch. Murdoch is fascinated by things like unicorns, pure things that simply beg corruption.
He’ll have sex with you in missionary, then “horsey” style, because that’s what he’s into.
After sex your horn will begin to wither in fast motion – it will dissolve in fast motion, a flaccid erection to a man’s thinning hair into a nothingness so permanent and final that you’ll wonder if you ever had a horn at all.
Of course, you did. But Rupert Murdoch took it away, because Rupert Murdoch fucks horses. That’s what he does. He’s a horse fucker, and he loves destroying innocence.
Congratulations on Losing Your Horn!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment