Today you’re a sexy lady who tells jokes! You’re going to get up, go to a coffee shop dressed in a sweatshirt, and write jokes for most of the day without speaking to anyone. You’ll listen to a lot of peppy, upbeat music while you do so and occasionally read articles from various online news sources.
The barrista will be pretty bored with you since you won’t have any long or embarrassing conversations with anyone while you’re at the coffee shop, but she’ll honor the fifty-cent refill policy of the coffee shop all the same each time you come up to her with an empty cup.
When you’ve spent around six hours working you’ll head home, cook dinner and then write some more. You won’t make money for any of this time, mind you, but you will develop your craft in a dedicated, demanding way that few will see and fewer will understand. Once you’ve eaten you’ll crawl into bed and repeat the whole thing again tomorrow, except tomorrow you’ll cap it off by dressing up really slutty and doing your routine on stage while men who are terrified of speaking to you fetishize you sexually. You won’t get any numbers, but trust us: a lot of guys are going to be thinking of you tonight.
While they masturbate. We wanted to make that clear, since the last paragraph left it a little unclear.
Congratulations Burlesque Comedy Lady!
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