Congratulations Mechanical Bull!

True fact: inanimate objects fall in love with people all the time. It’s not that weird. What’s weird is that we don’t talk about it!

For some inanimate objects it can be tougher than others. You, for example, are a mechanical bull who lives and works in a strip club. You fall in like quite often, and far more occasionally love. Today is going to be one of those days.

It’ll begin when a stripper with no panties on mounts you and starts riding away. You’ll feel her privates grinding against your genitals (cruelly placed upon your back by your creators) and you’ll grow excited right away. She won’t notice, because she’s not a mechanical bull, but you’ll be really, really turned on. And when she kisses the front of your chassis you won’t be able to control yourself.

You’ll begin rocking back and forth wildly, even more violently than you usually do. Your rider will shriek with glee as she thrashes about on your head, relishing the violence of her movement, the excitement of the ride. She’ll be so full of joy that her grip will slip slightly and she’ll go flying off of your chassis, over the padded mats that normally keep riders safe and straight into one of the exposed support beams that make the décor of the strip club so tasteful.

The force will crack her skull, shatter her spine and leave her laying there, a limp, dead vessel that once held the being you love. You’ll wish that you were born as something other than a sentient mechanical bull, so that you could weep at the loss of such a lovely creature. But you’ll know that you were not, that you cannot. And you’ll simply rock in place there, trying to figure out a way to hurt yourself so that you can feel something, anything, for just a moment, to distract you from the pain.

Congratulations Mechanical Bull!