You’re a thief and you exclusively steal mangoes.
“Why do you only steal mangoes?” the grocery store owner will ask as you push the gun against the side of his face.
“Man’s got to have principles,” you’ll tell him as you stuff mangoes into your pockets.
“They’re just not that expensive and have very little resale value,” he’ll start telling you, but then you’ll hit him in the face with the butt of your gun to stop him from talking.
Folk’s always gonna try to find something to complain about in life, and you give them that. And so, if only for that reason, you’re a very special sort of man. Plus you give most of your mangoes to orphans and you rarely kill people while stealing mangoes.
That makes you alright by us, mango thief.
Congratulations Mango Thief!
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