You’ll be watching Sponge Bob Square Pants high, the way you always do, when it comes to you. It’ll be a slow trickle at first, the sort of feeling you get from trying to solve a particularly difficult math problem or remember the name of an old classmate you used to masturbate to more as an idea of a person than an actual person.
The weed will fight it, though, demanding that you simply appreciate the wonder that is a children’s show about an anthropomorphic sponge learning about life and friendship, but you’ll be too much of a pretentious dipshit to just let it go. No, you’ll grit your teeth and pull it out like fucking Dumbledore ripping memories out of his mind.
After a five minute existential struggle you’ll let out the thought with a deep breath and settle with your revelation: that organized religion isn’t conceptually flawed as a rule, but that it’s often applied in a counterproductive fashion.
After letting that gem fly through your mind you’ll collapse in a mental heap and just sit there as Sponge Bob turns to Jimmy Neutron and your thoughts dwindle to their normal pinprick, having reached their incredibly disappointing zenith for the rest of your life.
Congratulations on Making the Single Most Profound Philosophical Discovery Of Your Life!
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