Congratulations on Losing the Arms Race!

You and that bitch Kelly McCanowitz have been in an arms race since third grade. It started with a spitball and it’s been snowballing ever since. Today you’re going to make the biggest mistake imaginable in an arms race: you’re going to lose.

But you should already be able to see it coming at this point. After your disastrous attempt last week to unleash dogs on Kelly’s law office you knew she was going to retaliate. And as she saw you as being in a weakened state, given how terribly wrong your dog attack went, she was going to retaliate with a decisive blow, something that would break you for certain.

To this end she’s enlisted your ex-wife. Instead of making a big to do about ruining you she’s just going to have that life ruining bitch show up at your house one morning and tell you off. After that devastating assault she’ll fire a small, modestly priced anti-tank weapon at your car and a piece of shrapnel will tear out your heart, doing moderately more damage than your ex-wife had previously done.

After that you’ll bleed out in a matter of seconds, happy to be spared the burden of continued interaction with your ex-wife.

Congratulations on Losing the Arms Race!