You and your husband love each other very much, but not in any sort of sexual way. That’s why marriage was such a perfect institution for you. It forced you to cohabitate closely and not really deal with the bigger issues of your relationship until they reach some sort of critical mass.
It’s odd, then, that the bedroom issue that through the two of you together would be the one weighing so heavily on you of late. You know what we mean. Since the start of the week the two of you have both been totally bummed that you’re in your mid fifties and have never once had even decent sex. As a result you’ve done some pretty weird shit to try and get your mojo back already.
You’ve hired a hooker to watch the two of you, another hooker to fuck the first hooker while she watched the two of you and paid your adult son to walk in on the two of you and scream and then run out. So far none of it has worked. Your husband is considering hiring another hooker to do one of you while the other watches, but neither of you are willing to risk getting a disease.
You’ll finally come up with the decision while searching for solutions on the internet. Instead of productive discussion on the issue your search will turn up a bevy of videos of obsese men masturbating. That’s when it’ll come to you.
You’ll sit down, Thursday night, and tentatively play with yourself until you reach orgasm. You’ll look a little bit awkward and painfully aware of the camera for the entire time but eventually you’ll come so it’ll all turn out okay.
The tape won’t fix your deep seeded problems, though, and the two of you will eventually see a marriage counselor and end up having an okay threesome with him and calling it quits.
The tape will, however, destroy your attempt to run for state senate in about three years. So tough luck there. You probably shouldn’t keep things like that around.
Congratulations on Filming Yourself While Masturbating!
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