New Years Eve is an opportunity to show off your most
stylish, most brazenly brilliant fashion choices. It’s a shot for even the most fashion
deficient individuals to strut their stuff and become fashionistas for a day.
You’ve taken this opportunity and opted to use it to
showcase a yellow lycra bodysuit that you got off of eBay for a song. It was a wise choice. Last night you danced your ass off and ended
up on no fewer than six Youtube channels as “the most amazing person in the
library on New Years Eve.”
For some reason, the New Years Eve celebration in the town
you live in centers around the library.
Anyhow, today you’re going to wake up and you’re going to
remember every E fueled grind, every sloppy makeout kiss and every public dry
heavy of the previous night. You’re
going to remember getting an erection and having several prominent community
figures photographed with you, and your erection, standing in front of the “presidential
history” stacks.
You’re going to remember every single thing you did on New
Years Eve while wearing a lycra bodysuit and it’s going to sink into your bones
and you’re going to have to live with that for at least another year, when the
next New Years celebration rolls around and you somehow top that shit. We can’t see far enough ahead to know just
how yet, but we’re willing to bet it’ll be amazing.
Congratulations on Ringing in the New Year in Style!
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