Congratulations on Clearing Your Head for a While!

You know what sucks?  Working in an office.  Even the coolest office becomes suffocating and horrible after just under a year, and if you don’t get the fuck out of it and give yourself a chance to figure out what’s really important for you you’ll grow to hate your life and everyone you’ve ever known.

It’s not awesome.  So what’s a gainfully employed adult to do?  Take a head clearing vacation in the Australian Outback!

You’re a smart one, so instead of just taking a little trip to the beach or some shit you’re going to go way, way out.  We’re talking about the part of Australia where the nearest major city is Kagoorlie.  And instead of letting yourself be sober for even a minute you’re going to pack a bunch of jerky, jugs of water and some of the most potent natural hallucinogen that you can find in the area immediately surrounding Portland.

Spoiler alert: it’s going to knock you on your fucking ass so bad that you won’t know where you are.  The downside of this is that it’s going to put you into a day long coma, so immediately after taking your first hit you’re going to go deep, deep into your own subconscious and spend the entire first day in Australia in a sort of introspective coma where you sort out what you really want in life and how you can potentially seek it.

On the downside, you’ll be trapped so deep in your own mind that, at least at present, there’s no telling as to whether or not you’ll ever go out.  So enjoy tripping your balls off in the middle of the desert, your mind reeling as you attempt to comprehend the depths of your own brain!

Congratulations on Clearing Your Head for a While!