Congratulations on Rewiring Your Bedroom!

You’re a big DIY guy. So when your house has wiring issues you don’t even think to get an electrician to come help you. You just grab your tools, Google around a bit and then get to work.

It’ll start off pretty innocuously. You’ll begin by ripping through the wall in your bedroom to fix the loose wiring near the dimmer switch. It’ll seem straightforward at first, but after two hours and a total of seventy three mumbled “motherfuckers” you’ll be ready to give up, but not before dragging the woman you convinced to marry you into the whole sordid affair.

“Fuck,” you’ll shout at the top of your lungs. “Karen, get in here!”

Your wife will obediently appear, looking like she’s already exhausted by whatever you’re going to ask her.

“Hold these wires, damnit!” you’ll shout, ramming two stripped wires into her hands. She’ll shrug and take them, but she won’t grasp the rubber parts. Instead she’ll take a hold of the exposed copper. The light will immediately start working again, though it’ll be extremely dim.

“It’s working!” you’ll shout.

“This kind of hurts,” your wife will mutter.

“Let me see if I can make it brighter,” you’ll mumble, getting down on your knees and unzipping her pants.

Twenty five minutes and one tired tongue later you’ll have made the lights much, much brighter for a short time, and then suddenly made them all but explode for a five second period before making them basically go out.

“I think I’ve got this figured out,” you’ll beam up at her from your position on the floor.

“I think I’d let to let go of these,” she’ll say, still shivering from coming all over your face.

Congratulations on Rewiring Your Bedroom!