Congratulations on Driving Away!

State line will be eighty miles away. Should take you a little less more than an hour once you’ve started driving. You don’t have much gas in the car, a half tank at best, but you’ve got to try damn it. If you wait too long you know you’ll never leave.

You’ll sneak out early in the morning, before sun up in that magic hour where the air itself is gray and it seems like anything could happen. You’ll creep down the stairs and even though you’ll have left her in bed with a note next to her pretty little head you’ll expect her to jump out from behind a corner at any second.

You’ll stuff some of the laundry you put in last night into your duffel bag, still wet, along with a handful of assorted cans from the kitchen. It’ll mostly be green beans and pineapple chunks, with a pair of Spaghettios cans in there to round out your diet until you can get to a grocery store.

When you step out the front door you’ll stalk to the car. You’ll have the strange paranoid feeling that if you make even the slightest sound she’ll walk out from the side of the garage, smoking her hidden morning cigarette, the one she thought you didn’t know about it. But you’ll get in quietly, start up the Prius silent engine and drive away without seeing her emerge. You’ll still stay under 5 miles per hour until you get to the end of the road, just to stay safe.

Then you’ll take off down the road, pushing to I-95. From I-95 you’ll put the pedal to the floor and head towards New York. Your mind will be racing, second guessing your choice to leave.

But after that game of Pictionary last night and your macabre sexual performance, you know you’ve just got to go. The fact that she caught you fucking the dog didn’t help either.

No, you’ll decide. It’s for the best. She’ll hurt at first, but in time she’ll recover and she’ll be stronger without you. Happier. She’ll have a chance at a life with a man who can satisfy her sexually, who doesn’t like to rub his dick on toy dogs.

It’s better this way. Congratulations on driving away, dogfucker.