You’re a social activist. You’re one hell of a social activist, really. You hop from cause to cause, working ceaseless until your goal, which you are always convinced of the righteousness of, is accomplished.
You’re the reason the Brady Bill came to pass. You’re the reason Massachusetts allows gay marriage. You’re the reason the assault weapons ban didn’t go through and you’re the reason we’ve still got so much cheap Canadian hash in our country.
We don’t always agree with what you do, but your skill at accomplishing your goals is undeniable. Come Thursday, though, we’ll be right there with you celebrating this latest victory.
You’ve been fighting the good fight on this one for a while. You’ve been working to convince country of the immense damage that it could inflict if left unchecked, of the importance of nipping this thing in the bud. But the wheels of government turn slowly and if you lose your insistence for even a moment it can be disastrous. Which is why it’s been such a struggle for you.
But this evening, after a four hour filibuster about the importance of Fountains of Wayne from Newt Gingrich, who seems to be becoming progressively more insane as he ages, you’ll finally succeed. The song Stacy’s Mom will be banned by a congressional vote of 280 to 120 (35 abstaining because they thought the issue was totally inane – the charlatans!)
It’ll be a great day for democracy, and it’ll all be because of you.
Congratulations on Accomplishing Your Noble Goal!
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