Mindy Kaling is a pretty cool lady. She wrote the Office, she invented a character for the series out of nothing and she made us realize that Indian bitches can be just as crazy as crazy bitches of every other race. She’s also genuinely dedicated to her craft in a way that few truly are. She even shows up at Comicon still, we think. We aren’t nerds and we can’t be bothered to stalk that poor woman to figure out what the fuck her appearance schedule is going to be over the next few months, alright?
We can be bothered to tell you that you’re a shitty person and that you’re going to make her cry today, though. That’s right, you’re going to make Mindy Kaling cry when, during a meeting with the writers of The Office, you refer to her not once, not twice, but five times as Kelly. Upon the fifth utterance tears will well up in her eyes and just cascade out.
“What is wrong with you? My name is right in front of me!” she’ll shout, pointing to her name plate.
It’ll seem very odd to you, because you actually came there to upset her for her ex boyfriend and you expected her to just rip the shit out of you in front of her writers. But it turns out breaking up with her pill popping boyfriend was really hard for her, and being insulted by someone pretending to be an executive for NBC is pretty rough for an emotionally vulnerable writer.
So today we’d like to collectively give you the middle finger for getting a nice young lady to cry in front of her co-workers. In exchange you’ll get fifty bucks, a night of free drinks at some lame ass hipster bar and our eternal burning hatred. And since Jerry is a voodoo priest, watch out. Otherwise your belt will probably catch fire and you’ll die while you try to take it off in the next few weeks.
Congratulations on Upsetting Mindy Kaling!
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