People sleep with other people for lots of reasons: loneliness, daddy issues, money. Sometimes they even engage in the terrible act of sex for money. But you, you’re unique. You’re a whore for biscuits, and today you’re going to have sex with a short order cook for all the biscuits at the Pancake House in the town you live in.
Your town will have recently been hit by a blizzard and you’ll be extremely worried about your biscuit supply holding up. You eat biscuits, and only biscuits, and while you usually trade sexual favors for them over a long period of time the storm will have made you super, super worried. So instead of just giving the cook a handjob during his smoke break the way you normally do you’re going to show up in a puffy coat and a miniskirt and let him fuck you in the ass, which he’ll lube with bacon grease in one of the most disgusting and inventive sex acts we’ve predicted in recent memory, for around thirty minutes and then come on your lower back tattoo.
When all is said and done he’ll hand you two trash bags filled with biscuits and a five gallon container filled with sausage gravy. Then you’ll leave without a word. The storm won’t snow you in, won’t hit at all, and you won’t speak to him for another month, when you run out of biscuits and have to renegotiate the terms of your agreement.
Congratulations Biscuit Slut!
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