Congratulations Professional Lady!

Many ladies have jobs and many ladies consider themselves professionals. Some lads even seek these ladies out, and these ladies, let’s call them ladies with jobs, do stuff with those lads in exchange for money.

What we’re saying is that a lot of people are whores and a lot of people like whores and, to be honest, whores are kind of great. If it wasn’t for whores we’d probably all be a lot angrier at the world in general and much much angrier at our spouses for certain.

So we’ve established the validity of whores as members of society, which we probably didn’t need to do. But we haven’t established what you do as a professional lady because, as you probably know, you aren’t a whore.

Well, not yet and not ever, technically. Tomorrow while beating the shit out of your boyfriend you’re going to make him come. This will immediately inspire you to pursue a career as a professional dominatrix, specifically one who beats fully clothed men until they ejaculate.

You’ll show up at people’s houses and hotel rooms dressed in a flannel and jeans and just beat men with your tiny but shockingly potent fists until those men cave in and just jizz their pants. It will seem like madness at first, but many brilliant ideas do.

It will take you less than a month to start your business up, operating under the tag line: “Professional Lady: I Will Beat You Until You Come!”

You’ll have to hire two secretaries to deal with the volume of calls and you’ll have to build a swimming pool to hold all your money.

So Congratulations Professional Lady! You’ve translated what you love into a small business!