When you first got into webcomics it wasn’t even a business. It was just a bunch of fat, asocial nerds ignoring people who were telling them that they were going to fail. But ever since Scott McCloud opened his fat ass trap and started yammering about business structure and concepts relating to the “reinvention of a non-page” people started looking at webcomics and asking where all that amazing ad revenue and t-shirt money was going.
As you’ll find out later tonight a small portion of it goes to your rent. The rest of it actually goes towards a massive machine that sodomizes all but a handful of comic artists, ensuring that they must take it up the ass at least once a week from a giant robot in order to keep paying their rent and buying cocaine. The rest of the industry is seperated into two groups: the Penny-Arcade guys, who largely survive due to a deal with the devil (who happens to be incarnated in Robert Khoo, the merciless Asian businessman so evil he masterminded the Child’s Play charity which purchases toys so that they may be kept behind bulletproof glass from ailing children, just out of their reach) and the Dumbrella guys, who only let you into their group if you participate in their predominantly male orgies.
Today you’re going to try and get into Dumbrella and find out what they make the newbies do in order to get in on the sweet deal that is having Jeff Rowland produce and sell your t-shirts at breakneck speed. Tomorrow you’re going to wish you had medical coverage.
Congratulations on Learning the Dirty Secret About the Webcomics Business!
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