Congratulations on Your Recent Windfall of Burger King Toys!

The young man’s lip will quiver with every move you make. They’ll make you feel powerful, his winces and tears, but you’ll do your best not to let it get to you.

“Nut up,” you’ll say quietly as James pats down his co-worker on the floor behind the counter.

“Clean!” James will shout, his glock pressed against the back of the young man’s head. His breath will come ragged from across the room and his managers will stand against the wall, horrified. The youngest of them, a young blonde woman, will stammer.

“Please. Just take whatever you want,” she’ll say, hands fussing at her blouse near her neckline. You’ll think back to your first robbery when you tried to take what you wanted and the seven years of your life that cost you. Now with one good eye on your work and one bum one looking towards your retirement you know better. You’ll sigh and hit the terrified young man in the head, sending him sprawling to the ground.

“Do. Not. Fuck. With. Us.”

You’ll take great care with each word, giving it a moment to seep in without raising your voice. Then you’ll cock the hammer of your pistol and point it at her.

“Do not speak unless asked a direct question. Do not move unless instructed to move. Remain calm and follow these rules and we will not have to kill any of you. Nod if you understand.”

The standing employees will nod, eyes jumping between your gun and the young man’s prone form as he writhes and groans. You’ll step over him so that you can watch all of the employees and train your gun on the young woman who spoke. She’s the last one you’d like to kill but it shouldn’t come to that, not today.

“Take the kid in back and get the shit,” you’ll say to James. He’ll nod and heave the young man to his feet, Glock still pressed into the base of his skull. James’ gun isn’t loaded and he knows it, just for safety purposes, but it makes everyone more complacent when they have a gun shoved into the back of their head.

You’ll stand there with the employees for a few minutes. Every once in a while one of them will open their mouth like they want to speak and you’ll give them a look of genuine interest, which will silence them immediately. Then you’ll nod and continue watching them, glancing occasionally at the clock.

James will have been gone for less than five minutes when he emerges, leading the young man carrying two duffel bags at gunpoint in front of him. You’ll step over the prone young man once again, listening to him mutter a cachism over his tears. Your gun will never leave the pretty, brave young woman. You’ll wonder for a second if she’ll need therapy after this, then immediately wonder why you care in the slightest. You’ll want to shrug but you’ll keep walking backwards towards the door as James leads the young man to the front door.

“Drop the bags,” he’ll say, and the young man will comply.

“Walk back to the wall with the others,” he’ll say and the young man will do so.

“Stand up straight,” he’ll say and the young man will slouch a little in surprise before stiffening bolt upright.

“Good,” he’ll say, tucking the gun in his belt and picking up the bags. He’ll push through the door and you’ll walk out behind him.

“Have a nice day,” you’ll say, tipping your hat to the horrified employees and customer.

The two of you which reach the van in a few seconds. Marty will be there behind the wheel, ready to go. She’ll have the engine on before you’re halfway across the parking lot and you’ll pull easily out into traffic in a few seconds. As the three of you cruise towards the side street where you left red 1998 Camry you’ll take a second to unzip one of the bags and stare at the wealth of Toy Story 3 and Cars toys that fill it. It’ll be quite a haul. Not enough to let you retire, but a step in the right direction.

You’ll pat James on the back.

“Good job,” you’ll say.

Congratulations on Your Recent Windfall of Burger King Toys!