Congratulations Missing Toe Buddies!

As car accidents go, you’ll get off easy.  The impact of the SUV will collapse the upper portion of the passenger’s side door and dashboard, pinning your leg and cutting off circulation to your foot.  When all’s said and done, you’ll learn that your big toe will have to go so that the foot, as a whole, can remain intact.

“Otherwise gangrenous infection would probably occur in the majority of the extremity,” your doctor will explain.  “You’d lose your foot, if not your entire lower leg.”

You’ll listen solemnly, quietly whispering your goodbyes to Fatty, as you call your big right toe, under your breath.  The surgery will pass without issue and you’ll wake up today, Saturday, next to a young woman covered in cuts and bruises, dressed like a rock star.

She’ll introduce herself as “Taryn or Betty, depending on where we are.”  She’ll smirk as she describes being dropped while crowd surfing.

“The fall wasn’t so bad,” she’ll murmur.  “Getting up was the rough part.”

When she asks you why you’re there, you’ll explain it to her nervously, purposefully avoiding looking at your foot, which will still be covered with a bandage.  Her smirk will turn to smile as you go on, until she’s finally laughing at the end of your story.  You’ll look at her, puzzled, until she removes her sock, exposing four toes and one stump where her ring-toe used to be.

“Welcome to the club,” she’ll delicately cheer, motioning as best as her injuries permit her.

This, of course, will be your story each time you tell your children how you became the air guitar champion you are today.

Congratulations Missing Toe Buddies!