Congratulations Depressed Ferris Wheel Rider!

As the wheel rises, your spirits will fall.  The horizon will edge down, falling away as more and more of the landscape becomes visible.  When you hit the crest you’ll consider leaping for a moment, looking down over the edge of the ferris wheel seat.

Couples will be seated beneath you, a curvature of well adjusted pretty people smiling and holding hands, laughing gently, being normal.  It will almost be too much for you to bear.  Your hand will tighten on the restraint bar and your legs will tense.

But then you’ll consider the fall: the unapologetic tumble into strangers, the years of therapy you’ll be pressing them into.  The fact that you’ll likely avoid death in favor of serious injury.  You won’t want any of that.  Making life worse in general isn’t the point, you’ll tell yourself.  It’s about making the world better by removing myself.

The ground will approach you steadily on your way down.  When you finally reach the base of the ferris wheel and exit you’ll roll your eyes at the couple that gets on to take your seat.  As you walk towards the exit to the state fair you’ll consider other ways to kill yourself: guns, knives, sitting in your car inside your garage.

You’ll spot a cotton candy stand on your way out and an idea will come to you.  Smiling meekly, you’ll buy a cluster of spun sugar and begin cramming it into your mouth, effectively lowering your life expectancy by a year with each bite.

You’ll laugh around the mouthful of cotton candy; the joy will make you uncomfortable.

Congratulations Depressed Ferris Wheel Rider!