David Blaine is going to be doing one of his boldest and baddest stunts today. Today he’s going to pull a stranger from a crowd to shoot him with a real live gun to use his “extreme magic” to catch a real live bullet.
Of course, that’s bullshit. He’s really going to hire a homeless vet to shoot a blank at him and then break a ketchup packet in his hand and sleight a bullet into there so it looks like it hurt a lot. But you’re going to fuck it all up.
“Who will shoot David Blaine?” he’ll shout at the crowd, which will have gathered, eager to see David Blaine get injured in a retarded scheme.
The bum will stand up, but you’ll punch him in the face and knock him to the ground. Then you’ll take the gun from his supine body and fire wildly into the air in joy. The crowd will cheer as the bullets tear through the leaves above their heads.
David Blaine will look nervous, but he won’t want to call it off. So you’ll aim the gun at his torso and pull the trigger.
Blaine will shift to the side, quick as he can, but it’ll all come to naught. The bullet will take him just below the wrist, nearly removing his hand. His pinky and ring finger will be torn clear off, his blood flowing freely from his ruined hand.
“Shit!” he’ll cry as the crowd cheers, lifting you up on their shoulders. They’ll cheer with you up there for a good thirty minutes while David Blaine writhes in pain on the ground, waiting for the paramedics to arrive.
Congratulations on Shooting David Blaine!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment