Congratulations Codpiece Model!

You’re a codpiece model, and that means you spend all day wearing codpieces. Sometimes just codpieces. It’s tough work.

“I’m more than just a crotch,” you’ll scoff whenever someone checks out your dick-region.

“Huh?” they’ll normally respond, having briefly been hypnotized by your dick. But by then you’ll have left them in the grocery line to contemplate their purchase of Funyuns over Fritos (always a mistake). As you can imagine, this sort of exchange is quite normal in your life, and it makes forming relationships quite a chore.

So today you’re going to ecstatic when you meet a blind woman who is reasonably attractive. “Huh?” she’ll say when she bumps into you while trying to ask for a table at Chick-Fil-A.

“Oh hello,” you’ll say, stroking your crotch in a way you assume she can’t notice at all.

“It sounds like you’re stroking your crotch,” she’ll say, proving you wrong.

“Well played,” you’ll mutter under your breath, falling in love instantly.

Congratulations Codpiece Model!