Congratulations Actual Sexy Office Worker!

You know those websites where pornstars who have, in almost every case, never worked in an office fuck in vaguely businesslike clothes like glasses and stockings after some really weak dialogue about TPS reports? Those are actually based on a real set of offices where co-workers just fuck each other constantly in order to resolve issues and accomplish tasks faster.

And it turns out you were just hired in to one of those offices.

“I’m not sure I’m okay with this,” you’re going to say while a 40 year old woman with fake tits gives you a blowjob while her boss, a thirty six year old woman wearing glasses and covered in tattoos, shakes her head.

“Shut up unless you want to get fired,” she’ll mumble, watching you get a hummer while she masturbates. You’ll come after a few agonizing minutes and they’ll sit you down at a desk where you’ll populate an Excel spreadsheet for like, forty minutes, with the names of various companies that make helicopter engines. It’ll be boring and involve a lot of Google searching which, even though you won’t type anything pornographic into the search fields, will keep generating pornographic search results.

“This is surprisingly unfun,” you’ll mumble to yourself, which will prompt three young women walking in and engaging in a lesbian orgy nearby you.

“What the fuck?” you’ll ask. This will draw one of the trio’s attention while the other two service each other orally. She’ll grab you by the face and start making out with you with way too much tongue.

“Stop please,” you’ll ask her, but she won’t pay any attention.

“Shut up newbie,” she’ll say as she fumbles with your belt. You will, to your great chagrin, get super hard. The two of you will have awkward, messy sex on your desk, followed by a brief session where the two of you dress without making eye contact.

“Welcome to the team,” she’ll tell you as she leaves, slapping the ass of one of her cohorts as she goes. The two young women will continue servicing one another long after she’s left, long after you feel is a realistic amount of time to have sex. You’ll walk past them when you break for lunch, wondering if this is really worth the sweet, sweet health insurance or if you should go back to temping, where you don’t get molested every time you open your mouth.

Congratulations Actual Sexy Office Worker!