We all know the story. A child died decades ago at the camp where you all work and his vengeful spirit entered the body of a bulky retard and he’s been systematically murdering people at irregular intervals every couple of years since. It’s a tale as old as time, but everyone’s still shocked when it happens to them.
So this week will begin. But luckily local law enforcement in the small town located nearby your campground is surprisingly assiduous and they’ve prepared for this situation. It seems that their funding was often reduced after a string of unsolved murders related to demonic retards and, in an effort to avoid losing the pinball machine in their breakroom, they’ve stepped up their disaster-preparedness by building a staggeringly well armed SWAT force and learning a lot about the occult.
So even though things are going to be rough for the first hour or two of the horrible rampage the mystically infused mongoloid visits upon you and your friends you’ll run and hide and, before long, the police will show up with M-16s filled with bullets that have tiny crosses carved on them and incendiary grenades adorned with springs of garlic.
The end result will be a three hundred pound block of hamburger where once an indestructible sociopath stood. Sure, some teens (including one of the camper’s pregnant girlfriend and one kid who probably would’ve gone on to do something amazing with his life) will die, but in the end at least one slut and one black guy will survive, and that’s really the best you can hope for in these situations. Also, the police department will have additional funding, which means better readiness for events like this in the future.
Think of how your hardships have helped benefit the general public, and rejoice!
Congratulations Surviving Camp Counselors!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment