Congratulations Special Wardrobe!

“I found something wond’rous!” the cockney runt will shout back to his unwashed, horrid little sister as he happens upon you, sitting unmolested and unperturbed in an attic. He’ll open your door an peer in. “T’appears t’be some sorta wardrub,” he’ll slur to himself. “What as such is magical, far as I know.”

His sister will drag her club foot up the stairs and gawk in amazement at what he’s found: a humble piece of furniture, you.

“Cor!” she’ll murmur. “Roight good that!” She’ll stumble over the detritus that has kept you isolated for a decade or more and run her filthy little hands all over your sleek surface. “This must be one of those magical wardrobes for certain I say!”

Her brother will nod as he tentatively leans his arm inside you.

“Magical as far as I can tell!” he’ll proudly announce.

Then he’ll join hands with his sister, step inside and close the door.

The two of them will wait there for a few seconds, listening to the sound of their own breathing, waiting for something magical to occur. Then a few more seconds will pass. They’ll feel heat begin to rise, their skin begin to prickle. Their hearts will leap in their chests.

Just before they burst into flames.

“AHHHH!” the young girl will scream.

“BLIMEY!” the boy will respond as they tumble out of your innards to roll around on the floor amidst the charred bones of orphans past who has, for their impetuousness, learned the true nature of the mystical wardrobe in the attic.

Congratulations Special Wardrobe!