Friday, September 24, 2010

Congratulations Martial Arts Master!

You’re a novelty martial arts master whose only real move is punching people in the dick.

“That sounds surprisingly effective,” a young woman who wants to learn self-defense from you will say. You’ll bow to her and punch her in the vagina.

“Ow!” she’ll shout. She’ll hold herself for a few seconds to make sure she’s okay before she lunges forward and punches you in the dick as hard as she can.

Her blow will fold you over on yourself and you’ll be unable to move for several seconds. You’ll throw up a little on the gym mat. It’ll be a full five minutes before you can breathe correctly again, and when you get your strength back you’ll raise your face towards her on the mat and cough at her.

“I have nothing left to teach you, greatest of my students.” Then you’ll roll on your side and let out of a long moan of pain.

“Jesus Christ,” you’ll mutter at the ceiling as she leaves, thankful that she didn’t pay in advance.

Congratulations Martial Arts Master!

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